Battles With Billy, Bands, and Uncle Ted’s Legacy

What’s on Billy Corgan‘s bookshelf? Oh I don’t know, maybe some Dostoyevsky, some Philip K. Dick, and definitely all of the Twilight books.

Was his feeble cry for sympathy an attempt at making 2008 a really really sad year?  Billy bud, your best piece of music was released over 15 years ago.  Then you went and followed that up with a bloated double-album and shed your hair.  It was over when we realized that the girl in the band wasn’t actually singing; it was you all along wasn’t it?

So here are a few albums (in no particular order) that made 2008 rock for me:

1. Blitzen Trapper – Furr
2. Wolf Parade – At Mount Zoomer
3. Beck – Modern Guilt
4. Deerhunter – Microcastle
5. Hayden – In Field & Town
6. Stephen Malkmus – Real Emotional Trash
7. TV on the Radio – Dear Science,
8. Why? – Alopecia
9. The Dodos – Visiter
10. Blood on the Wall – Liferz

———————

It’s officially over between me and Rogers.  Here is a transcript of the latest battle between yours truly and Accounts Receivable:

Me: Why is there still $44.00 in extra internet usage charges, and why was I billed for the month following my disconnection?

Rogers: Do you know what bandwidth means?

Me: Never heard of it, enlighten me.

Rogers: We calculate all information sent and received by your modem.

Me: I think my modem was compromised, do I still have to pay?

Rogers: Let me check, please hold.

Me: Hold my ball-sack

Rogers: Pardon Sir?

Me: Hurry back.

Rogers: (2 minutes later)  If your modem was compromised then you don’t have to pay it.  Are you saying your modem was compromised?

Me: Where the fuck is Ted, I want to take this to Ted.

Rogers: I’ll log it as compromised, you don’t have to pay that charge sir.

Me: What about the extra month you billed me for, I don’t want to pay that either.

Rogers: You didn’t notify us within 30 days of your disconnection, so that is an eligible charge.

Me: Eligible for what, parole?  I’m not paying that, no one told me to notify you.

Rogers: No one told you that you had to notify us within 30 days?

Me: That’s what I’m saying.

Rogers: Oh ok, then we can remove that as well.  Anything else today sir?

Me: Goand.

Rogers: Pardon Sir?

Me: Go-and.

Rogers: Go and what sir?

Me: Fuck yourself.

That Time Again

Seeing the litany of “Best of 2008″ lists, articles, and mix cd’s that we’ve all been bombed with over the last couple of weeks; I figured it was my turn to spit out a couple myself.  Before we get down and dirty, “Paper Planes” was released in 2007.  Let’s be clear about this, you likely heard that song for the first time when you saw the trailer for Pineapple Express (which is by the way, a steaming pile of shit).

If I can stop drinking and eating turkey for a day or two then I’ll list my top 10 albums of 2008, but for now here is my very own mix cd of favorite tracks of ’08;

1. Do I Miss My Friends – Cadence Weapon
2. War On Machines – Blitzen Trapper
3. The Tears of Music and Love – Deerhoof
4. Junkeee… Julieee… – Blood On The Wall
5. Soldier’s Grin – Wolf Parade
6. Jodi – The Dodos
7. Golden Age – TV on the Radio
8. Elmo Delmo – Stephen Malkmus
9. Nothing Ever Happened – Deerhunter
10. The Kramer – Wale
11. Sabali – Amadou & Mariam
12. The Shedding Path – The Lord Dog Bird
13. Feedback in the Field – Plants and Animals
14. Furr – Blitzen Trapper
15. The Rip – Portishead
16. White Winter Hymnal – Fleet Foxes
17. Constructive Summer – The Hold Steady

…

Notables: I thought The Walkmen’s single “In The New Year” was a great song but I had to exclude it.  Not since the Counting Crows released “A Long December” in 1997 was a band nefarious enough to reference the “New Year” in song (Death Cab For Cutie did it too, but they’re pussies).  I hate the fucking Counting Crows, they suck cuz they’re stupid.  Maybe this year will be better than the last.

Happy New Year to you, the reader.  Shout outs to everyone I saw over the holidays in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia.  You are my best friends… if I pissed you off or offended you at least it was funny.

SL